Choosing Conscious Relationship (The Echo World, July 2017)
When most people are asked about relationship, we assume they mean a romantic or life partnership. As social beings, however, humans are always in relationship. We have relationships with family, friends, business associates, animals, plants, even our favorite foods. And, yes, there’s a huge expectation is that we will have a relationship with a “significant” other.
Let’s back up. In Access Consciousness®, we often look at how words have been used before their current common usage. One of the definitions of relationship is “the distance between two points.” In order to be in relationship, we have to create a distance – a separation. How would our lives and our world be different if we chose communion instead?
What do I mean by conscious? In Access, Consciousness Includes Everything And Judges Nothing.® Most of us are familiar with the concept of unconditional love. Yet most of us, regardless of the form of our relationship – partner, parent, child, sibling, friend… – have pretty clear projections, expectations, and judgments regarding what is and isn’t appropriate or desirable in our relationships. All of which create separation and rejection of others and ourselves. It seems that as soon as the word “love” arises, so does judgment.
What else is possible? What if instead, we incorporated into all of our relationships Gratitude (have you noticed that judgment can’t arise when you’re experiencing gratitude?), Allowance, Vulnerability, Trust (that people are going to be who and what they are), and Honoring?
What if we started with ourselves? What if we chose to be grateful for all that we are (and aren’t!)? What if we chose to allow everything about us and to be vulnerable with ourselves about where we’d like to choose something different? What if we chose to trust our knowing and to trust and honor who and what we are?
What if it was all just a choice? We’ve done the best we know how, and now we’re choosing something different?
NOTE: This article was originally intended to be part of a series. Would you like to see more on this topic? Let me know!